The Stir
Rotating columns on friendship, attention, the Simmer app, and the small work of keeping in touch.
From The Stir
October 3, 2026
Low Heat
The week after the reunion is when you keep them
The reunion proves your people are still your people, but one warm evening cannot carry the next few years. Three small touches for the week after that turn a great weekend into actually staying close. First published in The Stir.
October 3, 2026
The Warm Network
The half-life starts at graduation
Researchers followed best friends through their first year apart and found the friendships faded on nearly every measure, but distance made no difference and communication did. On why silence, not geography, is what shrinks a network. First published in The Stir.
September 14, 2026
The Warm Network
The reference you can't ask for
You need a reference and your best advocate is two jobs and two silent years away. What dormant-ties research says about that wall, and the two-sentence message that takes it down. First published in The Stir.
September 14, 2026
Low Heat
Is scheduling friendship inauthentic?
A calendar reminder that says "check on Sam" feels like cheating at friendship, but your closest relationships were always scheduled by somebody. On the machinery behind closeness, what friendship costs in hours, and why the reminder can't do the loving for you. First published in The Stir.
August 18, 2026
The Warm Network
Someone you know needs a new job
September is the season careers move, and the people looking rarely say so. On referrals, quiet job searches, and staying familiar enough to be the person they tell. First published in The Stir.
August 18, 2026
Low Heat
The cohort group chat is not keeping you close
The group chat feels like staying close, but a row of reactions is not friendship maintenance. Why closeness happens one direct thread at a time, and one small change to try this week. First published in The Stir.
August 5, 2026
Who's your Julio?
The Text I Almost Never Sent
The founder story behind Simmer: a question about a classmate that could not be answered, the text that picked up like no time had passed, and why occasions die even when friendships survive. First published in The Stir.
August 5, 2026
From the Kitchen
Off to the App Store
Notes from the team building Simmer: the app is headed to Apple for App Store review, and here is what we are chewing on while we wait. First published in The Stir.